I had some banking trouble this week. That was a mess…but it’s getting cleared up now.
This got me thinking though, you remember in Monopoly how you’d get a bank error in your favor? You know - you’d be in a lot of trouble once they corrected the error and found out you spent those funds on Baltic avenue. No amount of 4$ rent is going to get you out of this one buddy. All those “just visiting” trips to jail are going to be a cruel irony now.
Word.
I’m finally starting to get a little settled in here, so here’s a little something to shake things up.
1) First, here’s a little trick that my dad taught me when I was a kid. If you want to kill a fly, but can’t hit it fast enough (sans-flyswatter) or don’t want to make a mess - try this:
The key here is to swing your hand 3 or 6 inches above the fly. Yes, 3 or 6 because I’m terrible at judging these things. You don’t try to smash it, just swing over it - the fly will jump up to escape right into your awaiting hand. It’ll be surprised like Ben Affleck was surprised in Pearl Harbor (or at least how ticketholders were surprised that they received no refund in the mail).
Also, and this is partially just to set myself up in competition with Ryan Church (who was pretty braggadocio about the hot dog sizzler he was getting), I’ve developed an entirely new hot dog cooking technique. Throw some olive oil in the pan, set on high, and cook those hot dogs the way Jesus Christ, Pavarotti, or a young John Coltrane would have. With flair, style, and taste.
note: wouldn’t it just make you feel great to know that Mensa had a crappy website?
So I moved to Chicago! Can you believe it!? I start work on Friday, and here’s a few pics of my new apartment:
